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20121201
20121231
Search Results 0 to 15 of about 16 (some duplicates have been removed)
now. she should give him serious consideration. god knows the u.s. senate could use stephen colbert. >> there is already a twitter page, a draft colbert web site. i can tell you having done a show with him in charleston, he is an absolute rock star in that state. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: yes, i am a rock star in south carolina and not just because i ended my rally there with herman cain by biting the head off a dove. it's a local delicacy. (laughter) >> stephen: lovely with a side of palms. they love me in the palmetto state because i love it. i love the beaches. i love the mountains. i love the beautiful old estates that have no negative historical connotation whatsoever. of course not everybody is happy about my imminent appointment. for instance the atlantic called my vastly overqualified. and nbc.com said senator stephen colbert, perhaps not as crazy as senator jim demint. what? i am at least as crazy as jim demint. he wanted to ban gay teachers from the classroom. i want to ban teachers from the classroom. (laughter) with their knowledge agenda. i say let the free mark
. not when so many other people are saying it for me. "u.s.a. today" is stephen colbert running for the u.s. senate. huffington post, stephen colbert for senate. role call, south carolina for stephen colbert. "new york post", are we ready for senator colbert? (cheers and applause) are we ready? well, i get it i get it i know when i look at the u.s. senate. i say to myself, you know what they could use, another white guy. (laughter) so i want you to take to the twitters, okay, take to the twitters. i want you to tweet@nikki-- ask nikki haley why she should appoint me to the u.s. is senate with the hashtag senator colbert. (cheers and applause) s that-- that feels right. now of course we all know jim demint leaves some big shoes to fill. then again-- (cheers and applause) but i'm not surprised that the people want me to have this honor. i've been honored in so many ways. in lego form, in ice cream, in space station treadmill, as a plush hockey mascot. which of course let me realize my dream of having drunk townies throw beer cans at me. but now the ultimate honor has come. being immortallized
know what never's clapping for. (laughter) but god help us, if the u.s. supreme court does overturn the right of first sale. >> you are hearing a case that if they rule one way would say to us, we the people, hey, you can't sell your own stuff. >> it would almost make ebay illegal. >> stephen: ebay illegal? that could destabilize the global market in welcome back kotter board games. but don't worry. even if the supreme court sides with wiley and sons t wouldn't mean you can't sell anything. the court has ruled that the right of first sale applies to any product manufactured in the united states. so you are free to resell anything still made in america like your truck or your meth. and you would be able to resell anything made overseas as long as you have the permission of the original copyright holder. for instance, i am having a garage sale this weekend. some of the stuff was made overseas, so i am simply calling all the copyright holders to work out a profit sharing arrangement. here we go. okay. >> -- . >> stephen: elvis costello, it's stephen colbert. >> stephen, how are you? >>
on sale february 3rd from my standup tour. 17 new u.s. cities, with special guests. i get that off the no fly list. we have been away a couple months. i missed news stories, here's some stuff that happened, russell brand and katy perry got sick of each other as we are of them. maybe they realized how freakish misshaped each other's heads are. >> mark sachez threw passes at his receivers feet. nick sabin said if something is hard, you can always quit and find another way to be successful. a key witness in the jerry sandusky trial died mysterious the president of china retired. "moneyball" marked the final performance of one of the best actors. you will be missed fat jonah hill. we learned the dangers of texting while driving a cruiseship, our soldiers showed they can piss whoever the hell they want. i'm todd came out of the pot cast. i can no longer be friends with you, but i am proud of you. good night, america. hello, milan! [ applause ] (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report. good to have you with us. come on. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, steph
been in decline. and i have been searching for the exact moment when we went from being the u.s. of a to the u.s. of eh. well, folks, i think i found it, fasten your seat belts. and incidentally, if are you wearing seat belts to watch tv, you're part of the problem. >> it sounds preposterous but the united states has to factor into the cold ware to possibly nuke the moon. >> they say the plan call force an intercontinental ballistic missile to be launched from an undisclosed location, travel to the moon and detonate on impact with the height of the cold ware, security scares all around, american leaders felt they needed to give a jolt to the soviet union. >> stephen: we were going to nuke the moon and we didn't! (laughter) this is earth-shattering news. when it should have been moon shattering news. clearly this, this moment is when america stepped back from greatness. oh, let's see, what's the best way to send the rescu rescue-- russ keyes a message. a tense u.s. security council meeting, no, you light up the goddamn moon way nuclear haloso bright kruschev can read pravda at mi
Search Results 0 to 15 of about 16 (some duplicates have been removed)